Memory Garden
by chibijem
Summary: A recent event causes Tomomasa's strange behavior.


Memory Garden

By

Chibijem

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters herein, with the exception of Mikiko, and am making no financial gain from this work or fiction.

"Tomomasa-san?" The Ryuujin no Miko called out, trying to get her eldest Hachiyo's attention.

"Ah, gomen ne, Akane-dono." He replied, contrite.

"Daijoubu desu ka?" She was genuinely worried; he had never behaved like he was now: distracted, preoccupied, troubled.

"Hai," Tomomasa smiled at her concern.

Akane and the rest of the Hachiyo plus Fuji-hime did not believe him and looked to each other hoping someone, anyone would have the answer as to why Tachibana no Tomomasa was not acting like the Tomomasa they all knew.

"I think I shall say oyasumi." The general said rising to his feet. He waved Takamichi off, "I'm fine. Stay and enjoy the rest of the evening." He told his other half. He turned his eyes to the others, "I shall see you all tomorrow."

They all watched as the General of the Left Imperial Guard crossed the courtyard and finally left

Fuji-hime's estate. "Okay, what is going on with him?" Tenma asked, indicating the direction which their comrade had left with his thumb.

"Did you see his eyes?" Inori added.

"They were sad. He's never sad." Shimon's own eyes showed everyone's concern.

"Takamichi? Do you have any idea what's troubling him?" Eisen inquired.

"Iie," the vice minister sighed.

"He's been like this for days now." Yorihisa said. The samurai looked to the bespectacled Hachiyo member. "Have you spoken to him, asked him?"

"I tried yesterday; all he said was he was fine and not to worry." Takamichi took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose in concerned frustration.

"Maybe we should confront him? He's obviously worried about something." Akane mused.

"Leave him be for now. When he's ready he will tell us." Yasuaki suggested.

"Does anyone remember when he started acting like this?" Fuji-hime asked. "Something caused the change in him."

They all sat and thought for a bit, going over their individual interactions with Tomomasa. Each had had time with the general the past week whether it was for business of pleasure. "When did he start acting strangely?" Shimon thought out loud.

"I delivered a sword to him six days ago and he was laughing and all." Inori informed the group.

"I saw him the next day and he was fine then. He was showing me the sword." Eisen added.

"I met with him four days ago and he was acting normally then." Yasuaki said.

Tenma looked at Shimon and Akane, "We happened to see him in the markets three days ago and he was not as bad as he is now, but he was definitely different." The orange haired teen revealed.

"What time of day was this?" Fuji-hime asked.

"It was in the afternoon." Akane replied.

"He came in the morning to escort me to Lady Nara's funeral." The princess thought for a moment. "Could that have been it?"

"Fuji-hime?" Eisen began. "I was there as well and he did seem quiet but I thought it was out of respect to the family." He told the rest of the group.

"Didn't she leave small children?" Yorihisa inquired.

"She did, one son and one daughter. They are very young. Mikado has been named one of their guardians. They are distant relations on our mother's side." Eisen explained.

"He's remembering his own mother," Takamichi said to no one in particular. He then looked at the Miko. "You remember when we were searching for the Byakko ward? He said my own emotions towards my mother made him remember his. We talked late into the night and he told me how he lost his own mother and about his family. Lady Nara's funeral must have taken him back to his past."

"Then this change in him should pass." Yasuaki suggested.

"Takamichi?" Akane asked, his name held a myriad of questions, ideas and concerns.

"Hai, if he is not better in a few days, I shall talk with him." The vice minister replied. _If I have to sit on him, tie him up; whatever it takes, I'll make Tomomasa talk to me,_ the green haired Hachiyo vowed.

Mid morning the following day, Takamichi was making his way to Tomomasa's office in the Imperial Palace when he was stopped by one of the general's aides. "Gomen ne, Takamichi-sama, but Tomomasa-sama is not here." The young man informed him.

"When will he return?"

"Ano….." The aide hesitated.

"Where is he?" Takamichi began to worry.

"He did not come in today. He sent a message begging off saying he was unwell."

Takamichi thanked the man and hurried back to his own offices. He relayed instructions for the remainder of the day and left. He swiftly left the palace and started toward Tomomasa's home. _We have run out of time. He will talk to me today._ He made good time and entered the general's estate where he was greeted by one of the household staff. "Is he here, Mikiko-san?"

"Hai, Takamichi-dono. He is out in the gardens, he's been there since yesterday." She told him, concern in her eyes. When the younger of the Byakko duo started out, she stopped him. "He was out there all night….He is not himself."

"I know, I'm here to help." Takamichi assured her and stepped out into the garden. He strolled through the impressive mass of flowers and flowering bushes. _It is so like him to have such a magnificent space,_ he thought. He soon came upon his friend who was sitting underneath the shade of a tree, a spray of flowers in his hands. Takamichi stopped to observe Tomomasa who looked like he was intensely studying the blooms he held. "Tomomasa-dono?" He asked coming to stand before the sitting man. He received no response and knelt seeing those usually expressive teal eyes were now blank. He reached out and laid a gentle hand on an upraised knee. "Tomomasa."

'She loved these." Tomomasa's voice was far away.

"Your hahaue?" He sat next to his other half so their shoulders were touching.

"Hai, the rooms were always filled with them once they bloomed. They were the last flower of the season; she said it was the last breath before winter."

"They are beautiful." Takamichi thought it best to let Tomomasa talk.

"She was too. Chichiue always said she was the most beautiful of blossoms and that no flower could compare to her." The general let a small smile grace his lips in remembrance. "I feel so close to her when I'm out here." He added wistfully. "My memories are so close and clear."

"So that's where you get your manner." Takamichi teased lightly, thinking about Tomomasa's father..

"Hai, hahaue said he was corrupting me and he would reply: since I looked like her, he had to contribute something." Tomomasa laughed softly.

"You had wonderful parents."

"I did."

The two sat silently for untold minutes. "Tomomasa…."

"Gomen ne, Takamichi." The general interrupted him.

"For what?" Takamichi looked at the teal head now resting on his shoulder.

"I know I have not been myself in recent days, for worrying everyone….worrying you." Tomomasa sighed.

The vice minister raised a hand to stroke teal locks in comfort, "As long as you will be alright."

"I just don't know why I'm feeling like this." Tomomasa twirled the flowers in his hands. "I suddenly felt a sense of loss and could not rid myself of it. I thought it would pass, but it hasn't."

Takamichi turned and took the sad face in his hands. "You went to Lady Nara's funeral. That brought all your emotions and memories back. You saw Nara's children mourning and empathized with them. You know and I know what they are going through. It's normal, Tomomasa."

"I've never felt this before; I've seen other children mourning their losses….."

"When did the flowers first bloom?"

Tomomasa thought for a moment, "The day of the funeral." He replied softly.

"That prompted your memories and then the funeral and seeing the children. It all came together." Takamichi explained. "Did you mourn your hahaue?"

"I did….." He trailed off.

"You didn't, did you?" Takamichi searched the teal depths of the general's eyes for the truth.

"I did!" Tomomasa's voice insisted. He moved away from Takamichi's touch. "We observed the mourning period."

The youthful vice minister followed the general's move and stayed close, "That is not what I asked. Did you mourn her?"

"I…..I…..Chichiue needed me; he was so lost after her death. I had to be strong for him." Tomomasa's words spewed out as he once again moved away from his companion.

"You didn't," Takamichi's voice held sadness for the man before him now and the child he had once been. "You're mourning now." He said firmly, grabbing Tomomasa's arm as the older man attempted to escape. "You need to mourn, Tomomasa. Let yourself mourn, be sad. It will consume you if you don't."

"Just leave me be!" Tomomasa leapt to his feet, moving further into the garden.

"I cannot," Takamichi replied, following the general.

"I'll be fine; you've done your duty and can tell everyone I'm fine." Tomomasa all but snarled the last part.

"You're not," the bespectacled man argued. "Let me help you, be there for you." He grasped one of Tomomasa's hands and was shocked to see tears in those jeweled eyes. "I am here for you, always." He added sympathetically.

"I…..can't be….." The general's voice was full of tears and his eyes were swirling with emotions too long held back.

"You don't have to be strong now. You don't have to be Tachibana no Tomomasa Shosho-dono with me."

"I….don't want…you to see me….like….this." Tomomasa turned his head away from peering gold eyes.

"Why? Surely you don't believe I will think less of you if you shed tears?" Takamichi stood before his friend. "All men cry, even the strongest ones." Watching Tomomasa's inner struggle play on the handsome face, he felt for the general; everyone relied on him, leaving him no where to turn for his own support. "You are the strongest man I know." As soon as he said that, Takamichi detected the change in the other man. He practically saw the wall Tomomasa had constructed around his emotions crumble and caught him as the general's knees gave way. "Everything will be all right." He rubbed the strong, wide back as shudders shook the eldest Hachiyo.

They did not notice the passing of time as Tomomasa let years of held back emotion pour out of him. When he was finished, he rested his head on Takamichi's shoulder and sighed. "I'm so tired." He mused, scoffing at himself.

"Understandable. Mikiko said you were out here all last night." Takamichi ran his hand over the thick mass of teal hair, watching as the curls caressed his fingers. "We should go in. I'm sure she's worried."

"Hai," Tomomasa's voice was sleepy. The duo stood and made their way back to the house where Tomomasa apologized for his behavior to which Mikiko told him it was about time he let it all out and then went off to fetch them a meal. "Arigatou, Takamichi."

"I would do this and much more for you," the young man sat across from his partner. He smiled his thanks when Mikiko set their food out. "Are you feeling better?" He asked as he poured tea.

"A little."

Takamichi studied his companion while they ate and Tomomasa did indeed look better but there was still something not right. "Can you arrange a day or two away?" He asked, sitting back, replete from the meal.

Tomomasa, who was swirling the tea in his cup, looked up. "I think so. Why?"

"We should go to your mother's resting place." At the stunned look on the general's face, he went on. "You need to finish mourning and that includes visiting her."

Tomomasa reached across the table, "You would come with me?"

"As I said before: I would do this and more. Of course I will go with you." Takamichi shook his head; it astounded him that for all his years, Tomomasa could be so….dense…. when it came to how people thought of him. Of course the general usually never cared what others thought of him personally but just the opposite was true of himself: Tomomasa cared very much about Takamichi's opinions about himself and everything else. Seeing the exhaustion washing over the chokushi, Takamichi stood, went to a cabinet, took out a coverlet and pillow bolster then knelt next to the now half asleep man. "You need to sleep." He covered Tomomasa, making sure he was comfortable.

"Arigatou, Takamichi." Tomomasa clasped one of the vice minister's hands and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss on the palm.

"Sleep now." Takamichi watched as slumber finally claimed his dearest friend. He settled with a book and enjoyed the peace.

It took longer to schedule a few days away, mostly due to the fact some of the other Hachiyo wanted to accompany them. Tomomasa led the group through the courtyard, passed other tombstones to a small fenced in patch of land covered in flowers.

"Your hahaue's favorites?" Akane asked.

"Hai," Tomomasa stood before the small stone marker, smiling tenderly.

"They are beautiful." Shimon said.

"Tomomasa-dono?" Yorihisa held out a water bucket.

Tomomasa took the sponge and began cleaning as the others cleared away debris and weeds; he could hear Eisen saying a prayer nearby. "Sumanai, hahaue, for not coming sooner and more often." He whispered as if he was speaking to her directly and in a manner of speaking, he was. As he worked, he told her of important happenings in his life ending with becoming a Hachiyo and all the new friends he now had. He turned when he heard Takamichi answering the Miko's questions about all the different flowers. "He's the most important person in my life, I think you would have liked him. You two are so much alike." Tomomasa laughed gently. "He knows how to keep me in line too." He returned his attention back to the stone marker. "He's the reason I'm here."

"Tomomasa?" Takamichi had grown concerned and knelt beside him. "Daijoubu desu ka?"

"Hai. I was just telling hahaue….." He looked sheepish.

"Your son is a honorable man, Tachibana-san. I am proud to be with him." Takamichi said, laying a gentle hand on the sun-kissed marker. "You should be proud of him as I am." Gold eyes met teal; the vice minister touched a finger to the tear in one of the general's eyes.

"Arigatou, Takamichi. The same goes for you." Tomomasa laid his head on his partner's shoulder. He sighed when Takamichi ran a hand through his long, teal locks. "I'm glad we came."

"Feeling better?"

"Hai, I am." Tomomasa stood and turned to the others. "Ready to go?" He asked. Everyone was walking back to the city, Tomomasa's manner back to normal as proven by his desire for sake.

"Tomomasa-dono…" Takamichi groaned but inwardly was smiling at the good humor returning to his companion.

"He's back to normal." Tenma confirmed as Akane, Yorihisa, Shimon and Eisen laughed.

"He is." Takamichi returned Tomomasa's smile.

FIN


End file.
